You truly never know what may be around the next corner, frightening as it is. Wednesday afternoon I took Minnie in the Jeep heading for a park we found a week or more ago after dropping off my computer with my Mac guy in North Wales. Right across from Summit Street Elementary school is a beautiful small landscaped park with a walking path and I kept it in mind for an outing one day, Wednesday was it. I took my camera and it had been raining, still a bit drizzly so I put Minnie in her BRIGHT orange rain coat and parked the Jeep on Second Street. I carried her to the pathway and set her down. It’s our everyday routine and so I began wandering and she began sniffing amongst the wonderful light green of spring. I made my way around a little bend and she didn’t follow so I turned back and there she was still on and off the path into the wet grass. Round the bend again and for the second time no Minnie. So I doubled back this time to find empty space, no dog, so I hollered out her name and whistled a few times thinking she’d dart out from behind some huge blossoming bushes......but she didn’t.
Feeling concerned I started widening the search looking for her, calling her name and whistling. Time was slipping by and at this point I had traveled the entire park without any sign of her and now I was checking the surrounding streets, neighboring yards and storm drains wondering if she’d fallen or found some kind of sink hole in the park. Not a sound, not a bark, a cry, a car door slam, nothing and so I was stunned at her “vanishing into thin air” situation I was finding myself in. Probably 45 minutes went by when that knot in my stomach was beginning to effect my entire body, losing Minnie was not a possibility if my life was to continue. The park felt empty though and I started feeling that she was no longer there, I mean how could she hide in a bright orange rain coat?
I crossed Second Street to the house directly facing the park and banged on the door. A woman answered and tearing up I told her I had no cell phone, that my little dog had vanished and I wondered if I could use the phone and contact the police. Small towns have some advantages mostly in the outcome of this story thinking that maybe it might have been different back home in NY. I phoned my mother not knowing the number of the police asked her to call them and then have them meet me there, she could come also and help us look if she wanted to. I went back to the search in my heart knowing Minnie wasn’t there but also knowing I couldn’t leave without her.
I stopped a young woman walking her Lab and shared with her briefly asking if her dog smelled or heard anything to holler and I would explore any lead. Back in the middle lawn I looked up and a police van had arrived with the lights spinning and blinking like a 1980s dance floor. A young officer, (aren’t they all) walked towards the big lawn, saw me and called out “Candace”. I put both arms in the air and headed his way. I began sharing with him that Minnie had simply vanished off the face of the earth and he said, “I have her”. The first wave of emotion was sheer relief and the second was disbelief, where was she and how did she get there? He explained that Minnie had gotten herself down to the railroad tracks and almost out to the main route. Truthfully that couldn’t be more unlike Minnie and I was shocked to hear about her escapades. He continued telling me some woman saw her in that little bright orange raincoat and picked her up dropping her off at the station and would I like to follow him. Knowing Mom would be there soon I went anyway, some things just don’t work the way you want or need them to, Minnie was okay, all that mattered, the rest of us would find a way to get over it.
Really quiet laying on the police station floor I bent down and asked her what had happened. She didn’t say very much, I picked her up thanking them profusely and asking if they would forward a note to the woman who found her. Besides thanking her I’d like to thank the police but didn’t get the officers name, they’ll remember us, idiot older woman all in black with sunglasses, a baseball cap and a cute little chihuahua in a bright orange rain coat. I’ll stick a note in the neighborhood ladies door with the phone since I couldn’t find house numbers. What a sickening feeling, hoping to get my balance back, really tough day.
Min was quiet in the car heading back to Mom’s standing on the back wheel hump staring out the windows. Only when we arrived she got overly excited and couldn’t wait to get paw to that path to the front door. I never know why things like this happen, somedays I guess just to let me know how much worse things could be for me although in the state I’m in lately it may trigger a breakdown. Therapy was on time and we ate some dinner. Laundry in, dishes done, she was in bed with the furry blanket over her not knowing what if anything came to pass. Me, I’m a little jittery, unsettled and pissed, also thrilled to have her smelly little face to kiss and her bright orange rain coat drying on a hook in the bathroom.
This reminds me of another recent episode inside Candace’s world. Pulmonology testing showed I had what is called an emphysematic mass in my left lung that needed to be looked at more closely ASAP. So due to insurance coverage I had trouble scheduling a CT scan but eventually got in, the hospital taking on part of the financial responsibility because it was a medical necessity. So these masses can get worse, stay the same or dissipate thinking the latter would be ideal. Even so, in the interim I still suffer the effects of the lung constraints, getting really really boring all this critical illness stuff. The doctor said if I don’t hear from them it means good news and we can watch it along with everything else. So the next day passed, I held my breath, used to that and waited anxiously the next day without word. By the third day I began to exhale and I’ve never heard feeling I can manage this with the rest of the overload, I will since I have no other choice.
You know, I don’t want to sound ungrateful because I’m not in the least, Minnie is sound asleep and I’m worse but maybe not permanently. Hear me out though...just once I would LOVE something good to happen without me having to weigh it against how much worse it might have been. My selfish thoughts, I’m spent....maybe one of these days. Minnie’s safe, otherwise I’d still be in the freaking park.
